By Auntie M
Hello my loves, good Lord! I’m still stuffed from Thanksgiving! Oh ya and I ate a lot to! I adore the holidays, everything is so glam and people are so joyful, little children all Getty and gay (who said we weren’t born this way?) Now my loves think about this, Santa is a pervert! (It’s true Ms. Claus who is a lesbian, also true, told me herself) Think about it, why did we have to sit on his lap and he whispered in our ears, rather than just tell him in a letter? And why were all his “Elves” only waist tall? Why do you think some children were frightened and cried and peed on his lap (children’s intuition) that’s why the ones that didn’t were us! Aaaany whooo, I’m changing my stage name and I’ve narrowed it down to the final four and I need your help choosing. They are, Frieda Fuck, Hedda Gobbler, Sheesa Cunt and Yuna Sex. Drop me an e-mail and let me know your Fav! Let’s see whose sitting on Santa lap, or for that matter on Ms Claus face in Metraland.
NECTO (734-994-5436), On Friday, December 20th “Get Your Picture Taken With Santa” really? Forget Santa! I’m getting my picture taken with some of those hot little Santa’s helpers he always brings.
BODY ZONE (313-366-9663), Did you know that Body Zone is open 24 hours! They also have a steam room, exercise equipment, a game area, TV lounges, tanning booths, showers and a locker room! Now you do! Check out some of the fun nights they host! Friday, December 13th “Black Out Party” Saturday, December 21st “Leather Night” $5 lockers for members in chaps or harness! Saturday, December 28th “College Night” $5 lockers for members 18-25! ”Wild Wednesdays” FREE lube with the purchase of a locker or room! “FREE Tanning” Sunday-Thursday with the purchase of a room or locker!
CLUB GOLD COAST / SIN in Detroit (313-366-6135), Friday, December 20th Gold Coast remembers Dennis “Rita” Ashby and Aaron Davis with a very special benefit “Home Is Where The Heart Is” a benefit for the Ruth Ellis center! $5 donation at the door. Hosted by Crystal Harding and Dominique Bvlgari!
ESCAPE BOOKSTORE (313-366-6558), The holidays are just around the corner, hell who am I kidding, there here! Pick up some great gifts for your loved ones! Hell, there I go again, who am I kidding get some for yourself!
GIGI'S (313-584-6525), I don’t know if you remember, or even know that Tony Garneau started Toys-4-Tots in our community. He had a soft spot in his heart for this foundation and had raised an incredible amount of money for the cause. Since his passing (God bless ya Tony we loved you dearly) the present owners never let his passion for this cause die with him (Kudos Boys) having said that on Sunday, December 15th it’s the 40th “Holiday Campaign” for Toys-4-Tots! Live entertainment from 2pm-2am. Hosted by Nickki Stevens with current Gigis title holders! Accepting new unwrapped toys NOW thru December 15th! Hell, bring a toy every time you go, no really, TO IT!
HAYLOFT SALOON (313-581-8913), Saturday, December 7th “The 12 KINKS Of Christmas,” Also Saturday, December 7th “Kinky Cruiser Bar Crawl!” Kink Cruisers (booze cruise busses) with entertainers will be running all night! The first and last stop only: (not on rotation) the other stops will include Menjos, Hayloft Saloon and R&R Saloon! There is a $20 donation to benefit several local charities! Sat December 14th “Christmas Jock Contest” Best decorated Christmas jock wins! How Fun that makes me want to deck the balls!
MENJO’S OK my little rumor mill whores, yes its true and I couldn’t be happier! Menjo’s in under new management! It’s going to be open seven days a week and yes gay, seven days a week!! If you don’t know Tim Mc Kee and Mike Sharon, you will soon enough. These guys are going to bring Menjo’s back to our community, the way we want it to be! So we can party hearty with the entire GLBT community. I’ll keep you posted on all the new changes real soon! All I know this far is that they are open Monday-Friday 8pm-2am and Saturday and Sunday they open at 2pm for happy hour (2pm-8pm) Good luck Tim Menjo’s and Mike Menjo’s!!
R&R SALOON (313-849-2751),
COMO’S (248-548-5005), Como’s will open on Christmas Eve from 11am until 2am, so all you last minute shoppers can enjoy a beverage or a bite before or after shopping. Christmas Day they will be open from 2pm-?. Spend NYE at Como’s! Eat, drink and be merry until 4am! Book your holiday today!
JUST 4 US (248-547-5878), I love this place! It has everything! A great snack and coffee bar, clothing, cards, (oh Lord to they have the cards) a large selection of 2014 calendars, toys, trinkets, nail polish remover and more! Stop in and see Kevin he’s ahoot!
The APARTMENT (616-451-0815), Three great reasons to celebrate! Christmas! Open until midnight Christmas Eve and open Christmas Day from5pm to 2am.! New Years Eve, ring in the New Year with the Apartment! Friday, January 3rd “1 Year Anniversary Celebration” Congratulations !!
RUMORS (616-454-8720), Tuesdays are “Kickass Karaoke” with Monica Parker! They have thousands of songs to choose from and a great state of the art digital system for amazing sound! There is no cover and $1 off domestic drafts and well drinks! Fridays, “The Hottest Ladies Night In West Michigan” with 2 sexy female box dancers! With DJ Monica Parker! Saturdays, are “Beauty And The Beat” with Batty Davis! The first 30 people to greet Batty Davis get their first drink for $1 and VIP drink specials all night long!
SPIRAL (517-371-3221), Tuesday, December 31st “Circus Circus” Celebrating 15 years of New Years Eves! Wow has it been 15 years since I got out of college? Or is it 15 years that I’ve been going to college towns looking for younger men? 18+ welcome! With the ever so talented John Cruz! Live Cirque Du Freak shows (now you have my attention). And as always FREE rides from East Lansing!
LIBERTY BAR (248-758-0771), Friday, December 6th-8th “The 12 KINKS Of Christmas” kick off party! Kick off the night by getting to know all the hot title holders! MIGRA will be in the house Friday, December 6th and 20th, for Line Dancing with great drink specials! Friday, December 13th let’s go celebrate “Manager Matt’s 21st (again) birthday bash!” Gearing up for New Years Eve, doors open at 8pm with FREE cover! If you want to enjoy a delious dinner of Prime Rib and Shrimp its only $25 a person! Purchase dinner tickets by December 15th! Dinning or not dinning (I suggest you dine, their food is to die for) come bring in the new year at Liberty! Every Thursday night and 1st Saturday of the month its “Karaoke: with Karen!
SALON ONE (586-739-1164), Alright my little pretties, quit bitching about the cold weather, and that’s why you don’t go out! BS it’s because you look like hell! Your all white and pasty now that the sun is gone, your hair look like you wore a hat all day,(and you didn’t) Your polish is all chipped up and your cuticles look like you took a wire brush too them! You are a hot mess! Salon One Day Spa can help! Make your appointment today or get a gift certificate to show someone you love that they look like shit to!
SIDETRAXX (231-935-1666), Ok peeps let me explain who and what the Grand Traverse Area Woman’s Resource Center is(which we are now going to refer to them as GTWRC.) They are a large facility that helps battered men and women, children, the homeless and just about any one in need! Saturday, December 7th “Naughty Santa” OK get this, a lesbian drag king is Naughty Santa, only in these here United States of Amurrica! Prizes, give a ways and raffles to benefit GTWRC! Sunday, December 8th ”Holiday Potluck” with a silent auction, you bring in something that you think someone would bid on, and all the proceeds go to GTWRC (I want that naughty photo we talked about Scottie) Fri Dec 13th “Ugly Christmas Sweater Party” for Toys-4-Tots. Love love love this! If you bring in a new unwrapped toy(for children) you get a chance to reach in a large present and pull out an adult toy for yourself (Scottie you’re my hero) Saturday, December 14th “Customer Christmas party” hors d oeuvres and drink specials!
MALEBOX II (586-806-2390), Tuesdays, Jaden Black and DJ Jimmy host the original “Malebox All Male Booty Contest,” Cash prizes to the winners and you can enter to win a FREE bar tab! $2 well and domestics all day and all night! “Crazy Ass Fridays” with Jay and Jodi, serving up the Blue Light specials! Saturdays, “Malebox Review Drag Show! You don’t want to miss this it’s he-lar-e-us!! With my big sis Iona Trailer and Jacqueline Frost! Friday, December 6th celebrate “Patrick’s Birthday” with your host the fab Nickki Stevens! I don’t know if that’s worded correctly. I think it’s more like Nickki Stevens roasts Patrick!
That’s it for this issue! Our next deadline is Wednesday, November 27th for our Wednesday, December 4th issue. You can reach me at AuntieM4doro@aol.com! Email your upcoming events today!
BERLIN (773-348-4975), Saturday, December 7th “Drag Matinee” Hosted by Trannika Staring the birthday girl, Tiger Sky with Kelly Lauren, Rubby Dee, Terri Michaels, Evah Envy and Shalease! Followed by “Twisted” with DJ Larissa! Thursday, December 7th “Vogue For Tots 7” Its Stardust’s 7th annual charity Vogue for tot’s competition! So go see the show and bring a toy for a tot (new children’s toys, not wrapped) this competition is open to any one!
2nd STORY(312-923-9536), Everything about this place is great! It’s my favorite bar in Chicago! Its steps away from the glamorous magnificent mile. Surrounding bars give you tiny watered down drinks at obnoxious prices; but Second Story serves up real stiffies (Pun intended) in huge glasses for a fraction of the price! Oh peeps I do love the sign on the bathroom door that reads “only one person at a time” peeps I can hardly turn around in there let alone have company!
SPIN NIGHTCLUB (773-327-7711), Saturday, December 7th “Rih-Once” with special guest Brittney! VJ Dominic spins the dance floor until 3am! Get down to your fave queen B and Riha jams all night long
TOUCHE(773-465-7400), Saturday, December 7th “Night Of a 1,000 Santa’s” with the Great Lakes Bears! Wednesday, December 11th show us your fur for “Bear Chested Night” Friday, December 13th “Guest Club Night” with Chicago Hellfire! Friday, December 20th “Porn Poker” (What no strip poker?) Every Sunday it’s “Beer Bust” with $1 Bud Light drafts and sodas!